Tell us about your experience on Alone.
Well, my time was much shorter than I expected. I was prepared to be in Mongolia for months. I was excited to make the place along the river my home. I spent my first few days fishing, setting traps, and exploring my area, I was scouting for where to build my winter shelter and to know what resources were around. Each choice was made carefully because I knew what it would take to be there for months alone. That awareness was both helpful and challenging. Helpful because I had an idea of what to prepare for but at moments the memory of the hunger and pain of being alone towards the end of my time in Patagonia came rushing back to me like a tidal wave. I was discovering another layer and understanding of that experience, I’d pause and cry for a moment to let it move through me then continue on. This season was about redemption and I was thankful for a second chance; a chance to go as far I as I wanted, and not get pulled. I hoped that my location would have more food resources than I had in Patagonia and it did. I was thrilled to be catching so many fish, I caught more fish in my 5 days in Mongolia then I did in 86 Days in Patagonia!
Can you tell us about what event led to you tapping out?
On day four, I put out set lines for fishing so I could begin to focus on building my winter shelter. There was a birch tree overhanging the river. I leaned out on it and tied some fishing line around the trunk and hung the hook and line into the water. The hook was baited with a grasshopper, and I had it resting on top of the water. When I checked on it there was a fish! I leaned out over the tree to start pulling in the fish, but as I did I realized that the line wasn’t long enough to pull the fish into the bank to land it and I was going to have to lift the fish out of the water and grab it. I made a mental note that I would make a net in the future to help with this. I began to pull up the line hand over hand, and the fish came out of the water and was flopping around in the air as fish do. I went to grab it with my left hand and then let go of the line in my right hand as well so that I could grab the fish with both hands. Somehow in that process the fish flipped out of my hand and off the hook dropping into the water. Bleep! Pain began to gather in my right hand and at first I didn’t understand what happened to cause such a sharp stinging pain. I brought my hand into view and saw the last part of the hook disappearing into my hand until only the eye of the hook was visible. I was in a lot of pain and disbelief. I had to cut the line to free myself from the tree, and as I climbed back up the river bank, my heart was racing with adrenaline, and I was breathing heavily. I had the thought ‘if I can get the hook out there might be bleeding and possible infection to worry about’. Earlier that morning I discovered a patch of plantain and yarrow, plantain would help draw out infection from the wound, and yarrow would stop any bleeding. Harvesting the plants gave me some time to calm down a little, and come up with a plan. I went back to my shaded area under the willows by the river and tried everything I could think of to remove the hook. I tried just pulling it, I tried twisting and pulling it, I tried to disengage the barb and also pulling. I tried and was unable to push the hook through so the barb was sticking out. I tried to cut the hook with my knife. Nothing would work, I was concerned that it was stuck in my thumb tendon. When I moved my thumb it pulled the hook in my hand. Even with trying everything I did and it not working, I wasn’t ready to make the decision to tap out. I tried for hours to remove the hook. When it became the evening, I decided to sleep on it and if in the morning I didn’t have any more ideas then I would tap out so I could get medical help. I was feeling more dejected than hungry but I had one fish from earlier in the day, and decided to see if I would be able to get a fire going, clean and cook the fish. Making a fire when I was unable to use 3 of the fingers on my dominate hand without causing pain was a challenge. I found a way to hold the ferro rod with my ring and pinky finger on my right hand, and holding my knife in my left hand was able to strike the ferro rod and throw sparks into my tinder bundle. Alright I thought, I have a fire, now can I clean the fish? Well, I almost cut my hand trying to clean the fish left handed. I switched to holding the knife in my right hand using the two fingers I could, like a backhand grip. I cleaned and cut the fish to fit into my soup pot, and added some wild onions. As I sat around the fire I boiled water in my canteen for drinking and ate my fish soup. I went to bed that night hoping I might have an idea or dream about some way to get the fish hook out. It was a long, but oddly peaceful night as each time I woke up and it was still dark I enjoyed the moment of looking at the stars in Mongolia and knew I didn’t have to decide to leave yet. At dawn, I woke and felt heavy with the decisions I had to make. I inspected my hand, already swelling, and tried again to remove the hook without success. I thought about trying to cut my hand to get the hook out, but it was right at my thumb and forefinger tendons and a large surface vein at my wrist. I weighed out the risk vs benefit and decided it was not worth causing more and possible permanent damage to my hand. I wanted to stay longer, but I knew even if I tapped out that day it would take at least a day if not two days to get to a hospital to get the hook removed because of how remote we were. The hook had been in my hand for about 24 hours at this point, and I knew it wasn’t a good idea to leave a fishhook stuck in my tendon for very long. Resigned to what I had to do, I first showed respect to my area and took down all the lines and traps I had set out. Even after doing that I was not ready to tap, I paced back and forth before finally making the call. It was agonizing and heartbreaking to make that call, but I needed help to get the fish hook out. By the time I got to the hospital, a total of 54 hours later, my hand was hot and tingly, showing signs of infection and I was very ready to get it out of my tendon.
How are you doing now having settled back into your normal life?
My hand has recovered after some physical therapy to repair damage to my thumb tendon and I am doing great. My life is not normal and I like it that way. I have ‘settled’ into a traveling life. I am traveling across the US and world, teaching and building connection in myself, with others and the earth. I enjoy spending quality time with friends and family, both old and new. I think often of both my time in Mongolia and my time in Patagonia, and continue to integrate those experiences into my life as new levels of understanding arise.
What was your best meal in Mongolia?
My best meal in Mongolia was the final dinner before launch. The locals cooked us Khorkhog, a meal of mutton, carrots, and potatoes cooked with hot rocks in a sealed metal container. The meat was tender and the bowl of liquid fat was delicious! Second best was I had a breakfast of fish jello on the second day, I had leftover fish soup that congealed into jello overnight.
What advice would you give to people who want to try something like Alone?
If you want to try something like Alone, do it! I’d suggest starting with small bites, and keep challenging yourself. Make a list of what you want to do and pick one thing a day/week to focus on. When I was a teen I had a basket full of scraps of paper with different skills or exercises to do written on them. I’d pull a paper out and that’s the skill I would work on that day.
How did Mongolia compare to your previous season?
Geographically Mongolia was very different than Patagonia, I was on a river instead of a lake, the terrain was more open, and the temperatures were more extreme. Food procurement was different, I caught many fish right away and there was sign of game that I would have been able to hunt.
What did you learn about yourself going through this experience for a second time?
I learned that I need to be careful about freak fish hook accidents! But all joking aside, I learned a lesson in ending an experience before I want to. I learned that I have a high pain tolerance and am capable of being mostly calm in face of such pain.
What’s next for you?
Next is more traveling, teaching, and public speaking, continuing to share my experiences and inspiring other people to live their dreams.
What wilderness experience are you looking forward to in the future?
I am excited about being part of group survival trips, going out with friends or guiding others in reconnecting with themselves, others, and the earth.
Can you describe the feeling of being alone for extended periods of time?
The feeling of being alone for me, hmmm. It’s hard to put words to. In part because being alone and being lonely are two different things. Yes, I was alone, but most of the time I wasn’t lonely. I enjoyed my own company and found connection in the place I was in. But even with that I felt a pain from being alone and unable to hold or be held by people that I loved for 86 days in Patagonia. The feeling was a deep ache inside, and as time went by the feeling grew and deepened like a vacuum in space.
What do you hope viewers take away from your experience on this season on Alone?
I hope that viewers are inspired to go for their dreams, and to look out for fish hooks along the way! Life is full of mystery, and while we may not know why things happen we can learn from them and each event can inform what we want to move towards next.
Anything else you’d like to share?
If you feel inspired to follow my adventures or are looking for classes I teach check out my Public Facebook page @carleighfairchildalone and my website www.carleighfairchild.org . Thank you!
